Lost in Translation – Or Why Germans Throw Towels, See Pigs Fly, and Invent Creative Insults

Disclaimer

This blog post is written for entertainment purposes only. Some expressions below are rude, cheeky, or gloriously inappropriate. They are included for linguistic curiosity, cultural enrichment, and mild amusement—not as relationship advice, HR guidance, NMC guidance, or things you should shout across a hospital ward, school playground, or family dinner table. Use at your own risk. The author accepts no responsibility for raised eyebrows, awkward silences, or sudden HR meetings.

More and more lately I’ve noticed German sayings popping up on Instagram, Twitter/X, and the darker corners of WhatsApp groups—usually accompanied by captions like “Germans, explain yourselves.”

Fair enough.

As a German living in the UK, I’ve spent a considerable amount of my adult life explaining why my native language sounds like it was designed by a committee of engineers who hate poetry. German is brutally literal. The word generally means exactly what it says on the tin. Often the tin is very large. And compound.

Usually I explain to people that German doesn’t really do metaphor unless it absolutely has to. The word is the thing. The thing is the word. Subtlety was lost somewhere near the industrial revolution.

I normally start with a couple of warm-up examples.

Krankenwagen

In English: Ambulance
In German: Kranken (ill) + Wagen (car)
Literally: “Car for the ill.”

No mysticism. No Latin. If you are ill, you get the car.

Künstlicher Darmausgang

In English: Stoma (from the Greek for “mouth”)
In German: “Artificial bowel exit.”

Five letters versus twenty-seven characters of absolute honesty. In a hospital setting this tends to end conversations very efficiently.

Once people recover from those, I usually move on to the idioms.

The classics

1. Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof

Literal translation: “I only understand train station.”
What it actually means: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

Why a train station? No one knows. Once Bahnhof is involved, comprehension has officially left the building.

2. Das ist mir Wurst

Literal translation: “That is sausage to me.”
What it actually means: I don’t care.

Sausage is emotional neutrality in edible form.

3. Jetzt geht’s um die Wurst

Literal translation: “Now it’s about the sausage.”
What it actually means: This is the crucial moment.

Same sausage. Entirely different stakes.

4. Ich drücke dir die Daumen

Literal translation: “I press my thumbs for you.”
What it actually means: Good luck.

Crossing fingers is chaotic. Thumbs are efficient.

5. Tomaten auf den Augen haben

Literal translation: “To have tomatoes on your eyes.”
What it actually means: To miss something obvious.

Frequently diagnosed in hospitals, marriages, and teenage bedrooms.

6. Das ist nicht mein Bier

Literal translation: “That is not my beer.”
What it actually means: Not my problem.

If it’s not your beer, you are spiritually absolved.

7. Hals- und Beinbruch!

Literal translation: “Break your neck and leg!”
What it actually means: Good luck.

Motivation, German style.

8. Jetzt fällt der Groschen

Literal translation: “Now the penny drops.”
What it actually means: Ah, now I get it.

Nobody under 40 knows what a Groschen is, but it continues to fall.

9. Da steppt der Bär

Literal translation: “The bear dances there.”
What it actually means: It’s a lively place.

No bears were consulted.

10. Ich glaub, mein Schwein pfeift!

Literal translation: “I think my pig whistles!”
What it actually means: I am shocked or outraged.

If your pig whistles, something has gone very wrong.

11. Jemandem einen Korb geben

Literal translation: “To give someone a basket.”
What it actually means: To reject someone – usually romantically.

Emotionally devastating. Logistically confusing.

12. Fix und fertig sein

Literal translation: “Fixed and finished.”
What it actually means: Completely exhausted.

This phrase sounds as tired as it feels.

13. Das Blaue vom Himmel versprechen

Literal translation: “To promise the blue from the sky.”
What it actually means: To make unrealistic promises – wait for election time.

The sky remains unmoved.

14. Ins Fettnäpfchen treten

Literal translation: “To step into the grease bowl.”
What it actually means: To commit a social faux pas.

Everyone saw it. No one will forget.

Now crossing the line (linguistically)

German truly excels at insults. English insults are often blunt. German insults are constructed. They are compound nouns with intent and emotional investment.

Proceed with caution – you have been warned. 🙂

15. Arschgeige

Literal translation: “Ass violin”
What it actually means: An obnoxious person

Unclear why the violin is involved. Deeply insulting nonetheless.

16. Fleischpeitsche

Literal translation: “Meat whip”
What it actually means: A crude reference to male anatomy

Exactly as subtle as it sounds.

17. Hodenkobold

Literal translation: “Testicle goblin”
What it actually means: A deeply unpleasant little man

Small. Annoying. Lingers where it shouldn’t. Possibly immortal.

18. Backpfeifengesicht

Literal translation: “A face that deserves a slap”
What it actually means: Someone incredibly irritating

No action implied. Merely observation.

19. Vollpfosten

Literal translation: “Complete fence post”
What it actually means: Absolute idiot

Wooden. Solid. No higher function.

20. Arschkriecher

Literal translation: “Ass crawler”
What it actually means: Sycophant

The image is unpleasant. That is the point.

21. Pissnelke

Literal translation: “Pee carnation”
What it actually means: A pathetic or annoying person

Botanical aggression at its finest.

22. Wichser

Literal translation: Best left untranslated
What it actually means: A very rude insult

Short. Sharp. Escalatory.

23. Sackgesicht

Literal translation: “Scrotum face”
What it actually means: Someone deeply unlikeable

No anatomical assessment was performed.

24. Dünnbrettbohrer

Literal translation: “Thin-plank driller”
What it actually means: Someone who never thinks deeply

Almost polite. Almost.

So yes — German is a language where ambulances are cars for the ill, stomas are artificial bowel exits, sausages define emotional states, pigs whistle, bears dance, and if someone annoys you enough, you may briefly consider calling them a testicle goblin.

It’s not poetic.
It’s not subtle.
But it is honest.

And honestly—das ist mir Wurst.